976 Lust
by Bugnuks And Crossbows
Summary: Peer pressure nets one Hidaka Ken into the oddest experience of his life, but is it all embarrassment? [OneShot]


_Oh my gosh, I've updated nothing in ages! I'm so sorry! My trip to Japan and earning money for it sort of stole up all my time. So this is to tide people over until hopefully I can update or something. This is... based on a play a friend of mine was auditioning for. It's hard for me to write because... the oddity of it makes me feel a bit... embarressed, myself._

_Anwyays, I hope you all enjoy it, and I'll try and continue other stories as soon as possible.

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_976 - Lust_

His name was Hidaka Ken. He worked with the most insensitive, tactless men in town - which usually suited him fine, since he had a habit of sticking his foot in his mouth anyway. However, this time, he couldn't believe the gall of them!

He carefully inspected the paper in his hands as he paced the living room of his third floor apartment, occasionally glancing at his phone. _0009-76-5878 _was all that was written on the paper, a simple phone number. Unfortunately, he knew what would happen if he called.

Sitting down, he finally picked up the phone and dialed, waiting as it rung. After a moment, a click could be heard, and a soft male's voice spoke.

"You have reached nine seven six lust, our operator is standing by to serve you. Please state your credit card number now."

Pausing a minute, Ken looked around. "Oh… um… hang on a sec, I don't exactly have my… my credit card handy… the… the time hasn't started yet, has it?" By now, he'd hit the floor, checking under the couch and clothing for his wallet. "…Hello? Are you there?"

The voice seemed to hesitate a moment, then softly spoke. "I'm not supposed to talk to you until I've got a credit card number."

"Yeah, ok, that's fine… but I'm having trouble finding… I mean, I'm not being charged yet, am I? Can't you just tell me that?"

"I'm not really supposed to…" the voice became a little quieter.

Finally spotting his wallet (On the table of all places!) he cried out, "here it is! Here it is!" Digging through his wallet, he pulled out his credit card. "Okay, it's… are you ready?"

"Yes," the voice responded.

"It's a Discover card number…" he started, before being interrupted.

"Um… we don't take Discover."

Blinking, Ken looked at his card. "You don't?"

"No," the voice affirmed, quietly. Pulling out his wallet again, Ken looked for something different.

"Many… nobody takes that card. Uh… Master Card?"

"We take that."

"Alright, the number is 1440…. 7287…. 9903…. 5323…. 0997. Is that ok?"

"Well," the boy on the other side of the phone paused, "it's… too many numbers."

"…What?"

"It's too many numbers," the voice repeated, evenly.

Looking at his card, Ken smacked his forehead. "Sorry! Forget those last four… that's the expiration."

"That's ok, I need that anyway. One moment, please, while I verify the card."

Fidgeting anxiously, Ken looked at the clock, then absently sighed. "I don't use credit cards too often. I prefer cash and checks…." Receiving no response, he pressed. "Don't you?"

"I'm not supposed to talk to you 'til I verify the card," the voice sounded slightly distracted.

"Okay…. Lots of rules. 'Course, where would society be without –"

"Welcome to nine seven six lust. Your credit card has been approved and will be billed ninety-five cents for the first minute and two dollars for each additional minute. If you don't wish to continue, hang up now, as billing will begin three seconds after you hear the bell…"

But no bell sound came. In fact, there was a soft sound of frustration from the other side before the voice attempted to make a 'ding' sound of its own. Ken almost laughed, but managed to stifle it, so as not to offend the person on the other end.

"So, I guess I'm on the clock now, huh? …Am I supposed to tell you what I want, or what?" After a moment of silence, he questioned, "you are allowed to talk to me now, aren't you?"

Tentatively, the boy's voice spoke from the other end of the phone. "Ooooh, baby, you get me so hot… hello?"

"I'm here," Ken responded. He had, by now, stood, and was pacing the living room, anxiously.

"Oh…"

"I'm just… not sure how to respond to that. Um… what's your name?" he asked, scratching his head a bit.

After a pause, and a small amount of rustling the soft tenor came again, "Eishi. What's yours? …Stud."

_Oh… crap…_ Ken's mind took a turn, and he delved into his creativity cap. "Uh… Yuki…..ya…. Yukiya… ma. Goe…. Sha…." Finally he shook his head. "Ash."

"That's a nice name, Ash… so."

"So…"

"Maybe you should… tell me what you…. Y'know… what you want." The boy fell over his words a bit, unlike previously.

"Well… okay….. what have you got?"

"What have I got?" he could almost hear the blinking.

"Yeah…"

"I've got… more than a man can…. Handle. That's what I've got."

"Really?"

"Oh yeah…. Lots of hot… sweaty… tight…" the voice trailed off.

"How many minutes have I been on so far?"

"Huh?"

"Listen, I have to be honest with you, I don't do this sort of thing very often. Actually, I've never done this sort of thing, so I'm not really sure of the procedure. Should I be doing something… or saying something…?" Ken quickly confessed, twisting the phone cord in his finger.

"No, no, you're doing just fine… hunk muffin." And by this time, Ken was starting to question the operator.

"Okay… um…. Sweet thing. So… what are you going to do for me…? Or to me…. I guess."

"Oh, baby, I'm… I'm gonna do it to you so… good."

"Uh, ok… do it to me, baby, I'm… I'm ready."

"Nobody does it…. Nobody does it as good as… as I'm gonna do it to you."

"Well, c'mon then, baby… c'mon and let's… let's do it good."

"It's gonna be so… so good when… when we're doin' it baby, it's gonna…"

"S'cuse me, Eishi, but… what exactly are we talking about here?" Ken finally cracked, plopping into his chair.

"What?"

"I mean… we're talking about "it," but I don't think I'm really clear on what "it" is."

"What do you mean?" The sound of a siren could be faintly heard in the distance as the boys voice rang with confusion.

"Does "it" maybe have another name? I just feel sort of silly…"

"Well, you know… you sort of… spoil the mood and the momentum of things when you stop and want to discuss the…" the boy's voice was drown out as a loud siren passed by, just outside Ken's window.

"What?"

"I said, you sort of spoil the…. Can you hear me?"

"Wait a minute, there's like… a siren or something passing on the street down there…"

"Yeah, here too…"

Standing, Ken headed to the window, looking down on the street, watching the fire truck pass by. "Lemme just close my window…"

"I gotta just shut the window, or I'll never hear you…"

"Sorry about that, it's a bit fire engine with it's siren going."

"Yeah, me too. Must be a big blaze someplace downtown."

"Hey, that's kind of funny that we both couldn't here because there was a…" looking up a bit, Ken caught the gaze of a blue eyed boy across the street, also on the phone, who had also just closed the window. With a startled noise, he dove for cover.

After a long silence, the boy's voice came back on the phone. "Uh… oooooh baby, when I do it to you, it's gonna be so good, you're gonna wish that I never…"

"We're not seriously going to keep goin' like nothin' happened, are we?"

"I'm… really, really embarrassed," the boy confessed softly.

"This isn't one of my most shining moments, either…. Am I still being charged for this?"

"I mean it… I've never been so mortified in my entire life. I feel like I just… want to cry… or something…" the boy panicked on the other end of the phone.

"I guess this doesn't happen to you very often." Ken scratched his head, still hiding under his table.

"No. I mean, none of this happens to me very often. I mean… I don't _do_ this for a living!"

"You're not a real nine seven six operator?" Ken blinked, pulling the phone away from his ear to look at it for a moment, before putting it back to his ear.

"No. Well… yes, for today, I guess I am."

"What, you only do this once a week… a month?"

"I don't do this at all! My roommate does!"

"Your roommate?"

"Yes. Oh, god, this is terrible. _He's_ a nine seven six operator, but he's laid up in the hospital for the few weeks. He said if I didn't fill in for him, he'd lose her job with the company and the rent wouldn't get paid. What could I do? I can't make enough overtime to cover both halve of the rent! I had to do it, but, I mean… I don't do it! I work at a pet store for god's sake!" pausing for a breath, the boy sighed. "I'm sorry I ruined your call."

With a big of a smile, Ken responded. "What, you think I make these calls all the time? My roommate does, I swear to god!"

"You're making fun of me," the boy pouted vocally.

"Sorry, it's just that… I'm pretty embarrassed, too. I really don't make these kinds of calls. I guess I'm getting too old to fall into the trap of peer pressure, but I let my co-workers talk me into this. They tell me I'm not getting enough action."

"Where do you work?"

"Construction… I'm smaller than my co-workers, so I usually do small rooms… when people ask I usually say I work in the closet."

The boy laughed softly. "That's a good answer."

"I'm betting your real name isn't Eishi…"

"No…" there was a moment of silence, then he continued. "It's Omi."

"I'm Ken."

"Pleased to meet you – though the circumstances leave a _lot_ to be desired."

"Boy, you got that right. Feeling any better?"

"Well… the moment of realization will probably haunt me in my nightmares for the rest of my life, but on the whole, yeah, I guess I'm getting over it."

"You can say no if you want to, but I'd like to ask you a favor…" Ken started, slowly.

"What's that?"

"Would you go to the window again, so I can see you?"

"Are you at the window right now?"

"No, but I'll go if you will…"

"You swear you're as embarrassed as I am?" Omi hesitated.

"More. I wasn't wearing any pants."

"Oh my god! Too much information!"

Ken laughed softly. "Kidding! I'm just kidding!"

"Do you swear?"

"I swear. I was just as embarrassed and I _was_ wearing pants. Will you come to the window?" He tried again.

"You stand up there first."

"Can we do it together?"

"You mean on the count of three?" Omi suggested.

"Ok…"

"Okay, no backing out? No cheating?"

"Trust me." Ken said, at his most sincere.

"Ok, ready?"

"Yeah."

"Okay. One… two… wait, are we going _on_ three, or is it three, and then we go?"

By this time, Ken had stood and was back in the window. "Get in the window!" He grumbled. He saw a shadow in the window scurry, and soon the messy haired blonde was back in the window, looking across the distance at him. "Hi."

"Hi…" Omi hesitated.

"Your apartment looks nice…"

"Yours, too."

There was a small pause, before Ken laughed a little, softly.

"What?" Omi asked, a curious expression crossing his face.

"Do you ever go to theatre?"

"Um, sometimes… why?"

"Nah, it was dumb," Ken smiled, shaking his head.

"What? Tell me," Omi requested.

"Well, it just occurred to me…"

"What?"

"This is exactly the kind of situation that makes for a great romantic comedy."

"Oh, really?" Omi blinked a few times, leaning against the side of the window, spinning the phone cord in a familiar manner.

"Yeah. Well, for the first act, anyway. The couple usually has some kind of hassle to overcome right after the intermission, but they work it out by the end of the play," Ken continued.

"Sound's fascinating," the blonde smiled, sincerely.

"You wanna maybe meet at the diner on the corner and talk about it some more?"

"Maybe… if I can pay my own check."

"See you down there in about… half an hour?"

"Forty-five minutes would be better."

"Great, it's a meeting. See you there," as he went to hang up the phone, Omi's voice came from over the phone.

"Hey, Ken?"

"Yeah?" he asked, looking back out across the way. Omi was grinning.

"Wear pants."


End file.
